In one great scene of the film The Invention of Lying, Mark Bellison (played by Rick Gervais) addresses a crowd in front of his home and millions around the world following his speech through TV.
Mark lives in a world were nobody has ever told a lie, but has discovered that he is able to tell lies. After telling her dying mother that she was going to a "better place", people push him to tell them everything he knows about afterlife. He makes up an explanation in the form of a list of 10 things that he writes in two pizza boxes.
Number one: there is a man in the sky who controls everything.
Number two: ...
Man 1 [interrupts]: what does he looks like?
Mark: tall, big hands for making stuff, good head of hair.
Man 2: what ethnicity?
Mark: he is a new ethnicity, he is a mixture of all our ethnicities.
Man 3: does he live in the clouds?
Mark: no
Man 1: can we see him?
Mark: no, he is high in the clouds, too high to see him.
Man 3: so he lives in space.
Mark: no, not that high.
Man 2: so he is in the thermosphere?
Mark: sorry people, we have a lot to get through here. Man lives in the sky, you can't see him, controls everything ...
Number two: when you die, you don't disappear into an eternity of nothingness. Instead, you go to a really great place.
Number three: in that place, everyone will get a mansion. (the crowd cheers).
Man 4: what kind of mansion?
Mark: the best mansion you can think of.
Man 5: damn!, I was thinking of a horrible mansion.
Mark: no, no, it is the best mansion ever. Not the one you are thinking of right now, but whatever the best mansion that you like, that is the one you gonna get.
Number four: when you die, all the people you know will be there.
Man 6: will they have their own mansions?
Mark: yes, everyone gets a mansion.
Man 6: what if I want them to live in my mansion?
Mark: yes, they leave their mansion come to live at your mansion.
Man 6: what happens to their mansion?
Mark: I don't know. It goes back to the market.
Number five: when you die, there will be free ice cream, for everyone, all day, and all night. Whatever flavour you can think of.
Woman 1: even bad flavours?
Mark: why would you think of bad flavours?
Woman 1: you said every flavour I can think of.
Man 7: oh no, I thought of ...
Woman 2: I just thought of chocolate with diarrhea.
Mark: there are so many other ice creams ... what is the matter with you people?
Number six: if you do bad things, you don't get to go to this great place when you die.
Man 8: where do you go?
Mark: a terrible place, the worst place imaginable.
Woman 3: what constitutes a bad thing?
Mark: awful crimes, rape, murder, things like that.
Man 8: is punching someone bad?
Mark: yes.
Man 8: what if they are trying to hurt you?
Mark: then it is fine.
Woman 3: is cursing bad?
Mark: no
Woman 4: what about being late for work?
Mark: no, that's fine, you may loose your job if your boss doesn't like it, but it won't affect where you go after you die.
Woman 5: what if you forget to feed your dog?
Mark: well if the dog dies it is bad ... just don' t do it on purpose. Don't buy a dog just to starve it ...
Man 9: if I do just one thing, do I go to the bad place?
Mark: [pauses to think for a moment] no, you get three chances, three bad things, and you are out.
Man 9: like baseball [crowds agrees]
Mark: yes, anything else?
[everybody in the crowd raises his/her hand]
Mark: please, can we just move on?
[Someone]: No! We have to know everything that is bad!
Man 1: is it bad to wear pants?
[Sign: "Two Hours Later"]
Mark: no, there is no hair style that can put you in the bad place. We've been through this ... The main ones are things like hurting people physically, on purpose, taking their stuff, doing things to people they don't want done. Murdering people, on purpose.
Number nine: the man in the sky who controls everything, decides who goes to the good place and who goes to the bad place. He also decides who lives and who dies.
Man 4: does he cause natural disasters?
Mark: yes
Woman 6: did he cause my mom to get cancer?
Mark: yes
Woman 7: did he cause that thing on my car last week?
Mark: yes
Anna [Mark's friend]: did he kill my dad with a heart attack?
Mark: yes
[the crowd disagrees and murmurs]
Man 10: I say fuck the man who lives in the sky!
Man 5: that guy is evil!
Man 6: why did he do all those bad things to us? Why did he do this to our faces?
Woman 2: we have to stop that evil bastard before he kills us all [crowd: Yeah!]
Mark: wait, wait, listen. The man who lives in the sky and controls everything, is also responsible for the good things that happens.
Man 11: did he save my life in that fishing trip when the boat capsized?
Mark: yes
Man 11: did he capsize the boat?
Mark: yes
Woman 1: he killed my grandmother and left me those millions of dollars?
Mark: you bet yes.
Woman 6: so, he is the one who cured my mom's cancer.
Man 7: so, he is kind of a good guy, but he is kind of a prick, too.
Mark: right, but check this out,
Number ten: even if the man in the sky does bad things to you, he may offset that by giving you an eternity of good things after you die.
Woman 4: as long as he does not do more bad stuff to us.
Mark: yes
Woman 5: so it is kind of a test?
Mark: yes, so, that is everything I know.
[crowd applauds]
Woman 6: how do you know these things?
Mark: because the man in the sky told me.
Woman 6: but how do we find about it now, millions of years in our existence?
Mark: he forgot. See all the stuff he does. Thank you!
The movie is funny, witty, and I definitively recommend watching it. You can check the official site at: http://the-invention-of-lying.warnerbros.com/.
